Wrongers

A short observation about a trend of which the Stupid Naming Business is only one representative symptom:

The older I get, the more I find people essentially telling me "You're doing it wrong" about, basically, life itself.  It appears to be related to my never having remarried, had kids, done the thing we're all "supposed" to do, so there gets to be more and more instruction for me the farther down the road I get.  What's interesting is that this isn't coming from my family (nor from X), but from friends and mere acquaintances.  There's been a sharp, clear, and precipitous drop in people's estimation of my competency since I (successfully, not for nothing) passed forty.  (Subtext here:  "alone" - because that's means something is broken somehow, and I guess I must be presumed to have done the damage.)

One or two of these happen to be the sort who find opinionated people (and being opinionated) invigorating or bracing.

The older I get, the less "invigorating" opinions are to me.  I prefer courage, conviction, and energy spent on being interested and interesting.  By a stunningly wide margin.


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There is a LOT about me that seems to set people on edge.  Women who use the term secretary non-ironically freak people out.  Middle aged women living on their own bug people.  I never liked the idea I was getting to people simply by existing, but the longer I do it the more palpable other people's discomfort over my perceived failures (non-conformity, thank you) becomes.

Oddly enough, I'm a bit like Douglas Adams' money:  "On the whole, it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy."

But my movements increasingly concern people who have no say (and no stake) in my lifestyle.  And sometimes, THEY get to ME.  What a lot of wasted, and yet far too eagerly generated, negative energy.