Yesterday, I ploughed through 25 pages of the MSS in my revisions. It sounds all very well - but this isn't *writing*, it's editing. So perhaps I could be moving faster. It's not that there's any sort of RDA minimum on revision. At the rate of 25 pages in a day, if I actually put that much energy in every day (which - with ten hour days and an actual life to be maintained - unfortunately isn't going to happen) I'd have the whole manuscript edited inside of a month. No, the fear I have is that I am going deeper than revision and more into rewrite.
Which, given the work I need to do - maybe not a bad thing. I don't know.
Being Miss Pragmatism 2011, though, I want to approach this work carefully, and somehow that seems to indicate not getting too deep in it all over again. This instinct may be dead wrong. I may also be full of horsefeathers, on the point of my self-vaunted objectivity. Getting my hands a little dirty, getting into the guts, may be what the doctor ordered. (I do, after all, keep calling this work "surgery" ...)
We shall see.
Whatever the case, the work itself overall feels *good*.
And so I shall shut up here, and get back to it.
Showing posts with label quest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quest. Show all posts
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
60 Pages of Ugly Fat
I am so HUGELY grateful to Leila right now - she showed me where Ax REALLY begins. It's a beautiful thing having writing partnerships you can trust, and it's an even better one when a fairly profound piece of critique means you can slice off SIXTY PAGES of a manuscript without extreme issues with continuity. At this moment, The Ax and the Vase opens in 481 AD, at the point where Clovis' father, Childeric, is fighting beside Odovakar at Angers - a setpiece where Clovis draws (and loses) his first blood.
Leila, though, tells me in reading the manuscript, where her excitement truly came into play. And it makes sense: the story of a king doesn't start with his first battle. It starts - obviously - at his crowning. This is the point at which Clovis becomes CLOVIS - becomes Clovis I. The point at which he becomes king. This novel is about the king - not the prince.
This novel begins, not with the setpiece of a battle - a battle which, it must be pointed out, is in fact a minor one even in the career of a then-obscure Frankish scion of minor royalty not even yet proved - but with the point at which this character gains his power. And begins to exert it.
Thank you again, Leila. And, yep - I am excited to start carving!
Leila, though, tells me in reading the manuscript, where her excitement truly came into play. And it makes sense: the story of a king doesn't start with his first battle. It starts - obviously - at his crowning. This is the point at which Clovis becomes CLOVIS - becomes Clovis I. The point at which he becomes king. This novel is about the king - not the prince.
This novel begins, not with the setpiece of a battle - a battle which, it must be pointed out, is in fact a minor one even in the career of a then-obscure Frankish scion of minor royalty not even yet proved - but with the point at which this character gains his power. And begins to exert it.
Thank you again, Leila. And, yep - I am excited to start carving!
Friday, October 7, 2011
Awright Then
Okay, so one of the rejections I got last night was from that dream agent I was pretty wiggly about one month ago. The thing is, the detailed and constructive, practical feedback is a HUGELY good sign, and if I weren't being so distracted yesterday by the initial "no" I would have remembered two things. One, detailed feedback from an agent who's had your full is an incredible favor they have given you.
Two: it's also basically an invitation to re-query.
Detailed feedback - even in the context of a rejection - is INTEREST, boys and girls. They don't bother with that stuff if they're not interested. Because it takes time. And who's got that, with hundreds of queries coming in every month?
So. The Con has my cramped little brainpan all full of inspiration, and the need to do some writing. And I have some specific, concrete directions regarding writing and editing I can do.
All told, fella babies: this is *amazing*.
Per usual: JRW has me ablaze.
Wondefully unusual: There's actually an iron we could heat up in this fire.
(Unfortunately, there's no NEW iron as of today - the agent I had been slated to meet with lost a family member yesterday, and could not come after all. My condolences are with him, but he has apparently committed to reaching out to each and every person he had been set to meet with, and arranging Skype or phone time with all of us who want it. What an astonishing piece of generosity and dedication that is! My prayers will be with his family, though, regardless of my expectations there. He seems a nice guy, and it is such a pity.)
Two: it's also basically an invitation to re-query.
Detailed feedback - even in the context of a rejection - is INTEREST, boys and girls. They don't bother with that stuff if they're not interested. Because it takes time. And who's got that, with hundreds of queries coming in every month?
So. The Con has my cramped little brainpan all full of inspiration, and the need to do some writing. And I have some specific, concrete directions regarding writing and editing I can do.
All told, fella babies: this is *amazing*.
Per usual: JRW has me ablaze.
Wondefully unusual: There's actually an iron we could heat up in this fire.
(Unfortunately, there's no NEW iron as of today - the agent I had been slated to meet with lost a family member yesterday, and could not come after all. My condolences are with him, but he has apparently committed to reaching out to each and every person he had been set to meet with, and arranging Skype or phone time with all of us who want it. What an astonishing piece of generosity and dedication that is! My prayers will be with his family, though, regardless of my expectations there. He seems a nice guy, and it is such a pity.)
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Gah
One of the most frustrating things about rejections is those that tell you what a great writer you are - and leave you out in the cold nonetheless. Got two today; one, while including some encouraging words, also brought on some useful commentary. The other wasn't quite as practical, but at least it was a response.
The arrival of these responses - one of which I consider to be an enormous disappointment - coming less than fifteen hours before I'll be getting started with this year's Conference isn't ironic, and it sure isn't funny to me in this moment; but the timing does seem to have some sort of key light on it.
I responded to the agent it seemed appropriate to thank for their time, and have been reading up on the one I meet with tomorrow, but this makes the fire this event usually lights both in and under me all the more important for me.
The arrival of these responses - one of which I consider to be an enormous disappointment - coming less than fifteen hours before I'll be getting started with this year's Conference isn't ironic, and it sure isn't funny to me in this moment; but the timing does seem to have some sort of key light on it.
I responded to the agent it seemed appropriate to thank for their time, and have been reading up on the one I meet with tomorrow, but this makes the fire this event usually lights both in and under me all the more important for me.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Guitarists
One of the fora I belong to has a lively thread right now, discussing authors' expectations - specifically, how it feels for a writer seeing scathingly negative user reviews at Amazon and the like.
I've made a point of developing a process callus; a good level of tolerance for criticism on a piece I am working on. I also have a sort of dividing line, I think - between actual critique and what I think of as "the guitarist at the back of the bar" (someone smarming about perceived shortcomings, but whose commentary has less meaning than the comments of those who put thought into criticism). The Guitarist is the person watching a band on stage, sneering how much better she or he could do than those performing. The Guitarist is speaking more for the value of what he or she has to say than in response to what's really happening live up front. The Guitarist, in terms of literary criticism, is the person reading who "hates" a work because they disagree with choices an author makes, rather than because it's poor storytelling or just not compelling for one reason or other. The Guitarist is the person most likely to come up with cruelty, ugliness, and insult in critique.
The Guitarist is an element I expect to crop up once I am published, but *hope* will not upset me much. Because, very often, Guitarists represent the power of backlash against something particularly large, successful, or culturally prominent ... it's entirely possible I won't hear a lot of their thrumming. Successful as I expect to be, I'm not under any illusions that J. K. Rowling need ever step aside to make room for my publishing accomplishments.
Actual criticism, however, fascinates me.
The critic is someone who really reads, and who develops sincere - and not necessarily emotionally-based - opinions. The critic is someone who may well not like my work - but will be able to say that this is because the subject matter didn't engage them, or because the language was overwrought for their taste, or perhaps because the choices I made didn't work - and here's why. This isn't someone who'll be crowing about what a hack I am, nor insulting me personally for the temerity of writing my novel at all.
The scary thing is that the critic is no one identity.
As I have learned that "historical fiction" has no single set definition - and that an agent claiming to rep it isn't necessarily the agent for me - so it is true that a reader who likes histfic, even military or religious or royal histfic, isn't necessarily going to like my work. Even those who enjoy authors and works I consider similar enough to my own that I've used them in my proto-marketing may not glom to my stuff for one reason or another. I think people who watch Game of Thrones might like The Ax and the Vase - but the Venn diagram illustrating both subsets and any shared audience is never going to come out to a zero sum.
It becomes necessary at some point to honestly realize, and accept, the inevitability that some people who read Ax will dislike it. The question, then, is how much does that matter? I'm not the sort for whom imperviousness to opinion is strong enough I'll be able to just sniff, dismiss, and say "I've sold x-number-of-thousands of copies" and tell critics and myself that it doesn't matter. There are times my state of still being in potential - as opposed to having experienced being published ... being *seen* ... has clear advantages to me. The future can still be so many things. I can still hear my own chords, not that Guitarist at the back of the bar. So far, there's no heckling and jeering to be hurt by, worried about.
I'm still nearly alone with my love of the work I was somehow able to produce. It's recognizeable how precious a time, in some ways, this is.
At the end of the day, though ... the point of picking up the instrument is to play. Is to go out there. Is to present myself to everyone - Guitarists and all.
I may be nervous about that. But it doesn't make me want to quit.
I've made a point of developing a process callus; a good level of tolerance for criticism on a piece I am working on. I also have a sort of dividing line, I think - between actual critique and what I think of as "the guitarist at the back of the bar" (someone smarming about perceived shortcomings, but whose commentary has less meaning than the comments of those who put thought into criticism). The Guitarist is the person watching a band on stage, sneering how much better she or he could do than those performing. The Guitarist is speaking more for the value of what he or she has to say than in response to what's really happening live up front. The Guitarist, in terms of literary criticism, is the person reading who "hates" a work because they disagree with choices an author makes, rather than because it's poor storytelling or just not compelling for one reason or other. The Guitarist is the person most likely to come up with cruelty, ugliness, and insult in critique.
The Guitarist is an element I expect to crop up once I am published, but *hope* will not upset me much. Because, very often, Guitarists represent the power of backlash against something particularly large, successful, or culturally prominent ... it's entirely possible I won't hear a lot of their thrumming. Successful as I expect to be, I'm not under any illusions that J. K. Rowling need ever step aside to make room for my publishing accomplishments.
Actual criticism, however, fascinates me.
The critic is someone who really reads, and who develops sincere - and not necessarily emotionally-based - opinions. The critic is someone who may well not like my work - but will be able to say that this is because the subject matter didn't engage them, or because the language was overwrought for their taste, or perhaps because the choices I made didn't work - and here's why. This isn't someone who'll be crowing about what a hack I am, nor insulting me personally for the temerity of writing my novel at all.
The scary thing is that the critic is no one identity.
As I have learned that "historical fiction" has no single set definition - and that an agent claiming to rep it isn't necessarily the agent for me - so it is true that a reader who likes histfic, even military or religious or royal histfic, isn't necessarily going to like my work. Even those who enjoy authors and works I consider similar enough to my own that I've used them in my proto-marketing may not glom to my stuff for one reason or another. I think people who watch Game of Thrones might like The Ax and the Vase - but the Venn diagram illustrating both subsets and any shared audience is never going to come out to a zero sum.
It becomes necessary at some point to honestly realize, and accept, the inevitability that some people who read Ax will dislike it. The question, then, is how much does that matter? I'm not the sort for whom imperviousness to opinion is strong enough I'll be able to just sniff, dismiss, and say "I've sold x-number-of-thousands of copies" and tell critics and myself that it doesn't matter. There are times my state of still being in potential - as opposed to having experienced being published ... being *seen* ... has clear advantages to me. The future can still be so many things. I can still hear my own chords, not that Guitarist at the back of the bar. So far, there's no heckling and jeering to be hurt by, worried about.
I'm still nearly alone with my love of the work I was somehow able to produce. It's recognizeable how precious a time, in some ways, this is.
At the end of the day, though ... the point of picking up the instrument is to play. Is to go out there. Is to present myself to everyone - Guitarists and all.
I may be nervous about that. But it doesn't make me want to quit.
Monday, September 12, 2011
JRW: Annual James River Writers Conference Attracts National Literary Talent
RICHMOND, Va., Sept. 12, 2011—“Some of the most exceptional and talented writers publishing today” will highlight this fall’s ninth annual James River Writers Conference, according to conference chair Katharine Herndon, a Richmond-based educator and writer.
The conference will be held Oct. 6-8 at the Library of Virginia in downtown Richmond. “This year’s lineup of exceptional national talent is once again drawing attention across our region,” Herndon said. “Attendees will join Richmond’s lively, growing literary community for exploration into all facets of today’s changing publishing scene.”
This year’s headliners include:
• Tayari Jones, winner of the Hurston-Wright Legacy Award for Debut Fiction for Leaving Atlanta
• Kathi Appelt, winner of the Newbery Honor Award for The Underneath
• John Casey, winner of the National Book Award for Spartina
• Robert Goolrick, the New York Times bestselling author of A Reliable Wife
• Karl Marlantes, winner of the William E. Colby Award for the New York Times bestselling Matterhorn: A Novel of the Vietnam War
“In addition to being able to meet and greet our headliners,” Herndon said, “attendees will be able to take part in one-on-one pitches with top publishing agents.”
Also, conference participants will attend sessions on everything from digging deep into character and writing in various genres to launching an online Twitter presence as a promotional tool.
Attendees will enjoy soaking up the atmosphere, mingling with top authors and writing professionals, and finding inspiration for their inner muses. The entire program fits with the James River Writers mission of connecting and inspiring writers and readers.
Registration is $190.00. Pre-conference workshop registration in fiction and poetry is $40.00. Registration and further details, including information on hotel accommodations, are available on JRW’s Web site, JamesRiverWriters.org, and by calling 804-433-3790.
The conference will be held Oct. 6-8 at the Library of Virginia in downtown Richmond. “This year’s lineup of exceptional national talent is once again drawing attention across our region,” Herndon said. “Attendees will join Richmond’s lively, growing literary community for exploration into all facets of today’s changing publishing scene.”
This year’s headliners include:
• Tayari Jones, winner of the Hurston-Wright Legacy Award for Debut Fiction for Leaving Atlanta
• Kathi Appelt, winner of the Newbery Honor Award for The Underneath
• John Casey, winner of the National Book Award for Spartina
• Robert Goolrick, the New York Times bestselling author of A Reliable Wife
• Karl Marlantes, winner of the William E. Colby Award for the New York Times bestselling Matterhorn: A Novel of the Vietnam War
“In addition to being able to meet and greet our headliners,” Herndon said, “attendees will be able to take part in one-on-one pitches with top publishing agents.”
Also, conference participants will attend sessions on everything from digging deep into character and writing in various genres to launching an online Twitter presence as a promotional tool.
Attendees will enjoy soaking up the atmosphere, mingling with top authors and writing professionals, and finding inspiration for their inner muses. The entire program fits with the James River Writers mission of connecting and inspiring writers and readers.
Registration is $190.00. Pre-conference workshop registration in fiction and poetry is $40.00. Registration and further details, including information on hotel accommodations, are available on JRW’s Web site, JamesRiverWriters.org, and by calling 804-433-3790.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Wow II - You Can Boogaloo if You Want To
I got a detailed, thoughtful, engaging request for a full within about twelve hours after the query.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Query Letter Advice
I'm not very good about loving to read about the process of shilling, but for some reason query tips do usually get my attention. Here's a link with query letters and their commentaries.
I love marginalia, so commentaries on queries is bait for me. Enjoy - and don't forget to read further for dos and don'ts as well.
I love marginalia, so commentaries on queries is bait for me. Enjoy - and don't forget to read further for dos and don'ts as well.
Monday, July 25, 2011
How Much Do I Love My President Right Now?
Yeah, the speech he is giving even as I type is pretty stellar and all that.
But he just asked why hedge fund managers should pay lower tax rates than their secretaries. WOO for him ditching that "Administrative Assistant" bullshit. (Additionally: good question. Let's get a *decent* answer.)
And also, you know - for growing a functional pair, and publicly making the most salient point of our day.
Get it the hell done, O Wealthy Lawyer-Politicians. The rest of us are heartily sick of the bloody brinksmanship. NOBODY'S little "endowments" (all entendres intended) are going to look good if this plays out. So quit lying about your measurements and each other's. You guys have a ****ing job to do.
Do it.
But he just asked why hedge fund managers should pay lower tax rates than their secretaries. WOO for him ditching that "Administrative Assistant" bullshit. (Additionally: good question. Let's get a *decent* answer.)
And also, you know - for growing a functional pair, and publicly making the most salient point of our day.
Get it the hell done, O Wealthy Lawyer-Politicians. The rest of us are heartily sick of the bloody brinksmanship. NOBODY'S little "endowments" (all entendres intended) are going to look good if this plays out. So quit lying about your measurements and each other's. You guys have a ****ing job to do.
Do it.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
And the Beating Goes On
I got the R today from one of the agents I was impressed by. It was a nice letter, actually, even if the rejection it indicated came pretty much instantaneously. The woman has some very fortunate clients.
Not an exhaustive litany of regret to lose me, to be sure, but at least it was personal, specific, and written with respect. Which is to say: by an actual human.
I don't even mind auto responders the way some people do. They at least tell you (a) you got received and (b) you were at least seen, if not read by the right audience ... yet ...
I have a feeling, though. It won't be but so much longer. You watch me. Twenty-plus more agents to research, this week alone? Interesting things will happen, even before I get to the Conference.
Thank you for thinking of me, Diane, but I didn't connect with the subject matter of THE AX AND THE VASE the way I would need to in order to consider representation, so unfortunately I've decided to pass.
I'm sorry not to be writing with better news and wish you the best of luck elsewhere.
Not an exhaustive litany of regret to lose me, to be sure, but at least it was personal, specific, and written with respect. Which is to say: by an actual human.
I don't even mind auto responders the way some people do. They at least tell you (a) you got received and (b) you were at least seen, if not read by the right audience ... yet ...
I have a feeling, though. It won't be but so much longer. You watch me. Twenty-plus more agents to research, this week alone? Interesting things will happen, even before I get to the Conference.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
"Eight" is Not Enough
Of the eight agents I added to my list a couple weeks ago, before leaving for vacation, so far several of those I have now finally begun researching do NOT represent historical fiction. Each one specifically noted that they did in the P&W mini profiles, but QueryTracker searches and time-consuming searches of their websites show no evidence of this.
It's frustrating to think you have found a vein to mine, because just finding "historical" at all takes time. It's even more frustrating to find out that the vein is not even a capillary ... AND to waste a whole lot of time researching very obviously dead ends.
Gah.
It's frustrating to think you have found a vein to mine, because just finding "historical" at all takes time. It's even more frustrating to find out that the vein is not even a capillary ... AND to waste a whole lot of time researching very obviously dead ends.
Gah.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Wired
You know, I had planned to come home and work on installing my router tonight (what's a good day's work, having been up since six and online since before 7:30, without a pile more hours in front of a computer, after all??), but I came home and got all inspired and writerly, and here it is suddenly almost nine o'clock and I just fired off another query.
It was the only one, out of today's crop, to be sure. But it was a productive night, even if the yield doesn't look "impressive" by the standard of number-of-emails-sent. Sometimes, finding the RIGHT person to query is worth finding five or six others you end up not wanting to pester.
(To be sure, sometimes a fifteen hour day yields to self-righteous whinging. However, in this case, I am opting to pretend I am Noble and Intelligent, choosing my deployments with care and doing small amounts right, rather than quantity in mediocrity.)
It was the only one, out of today's crop, to be sure. But it was a productive night, even if the yield doesn't look "impressive" by the standard of number-of-emails-sent. Sometimes, finding the RIGHT person to query is worth finding five or six others you end up not wanting to pester.
(To be sure, sometimes a fifteen hour day yields to self-righteous whinging. However, in this case, I am opting to pretend I am Noble and Intelligent, choosing my deployments with care and doing small amounts right, rather than quantity in mediocrity.)
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Hail the Conquering Hero
I return home triumphant, with gloves and a clean car. They did NOT vacuum my trunk, which they say they do, but dang if I am bothering to turn around and go get that done. I emptied it out and everything, but oh well. One supposes I can do *something* for myself.
Or - as is more likely - not really worry about the trunk's state of un-vacuum-ification. There's always that.
Or - as is more likely - not really worry about the trunk's state of un-vacuum-ification. There's always that.
Ha-HAAAAAAAAA!!!
But I am not to be daunted! Big brother, I'm on the way now to get that gift. Oh, and get a car wash.
If I'm to squire my mom around town for her b-day, I needs must have a cleaner vehicle than I have now. Plus which, I just want a cleaner vehicle than I have now - and I am a bit sore for all the bending and stuff. If I'm a horrible, lazy person who doesn't wash my own dang car - I'm good for putting a few bucks in the local economy, right ... ?
???
At least it's on the way back from the gardening gloves store. So it's not like I'm burning gas just for the job.
If I'm to squire my mom around town for her b-day, I needs must have a cleaner vehicle than I have now. Plus which, I just want a cleaner vehicle than I have now - and I am a bit sore for all the bending and stuff. If I'm a horrible, lazy person who doesn't wash my own dang car - I'm good for putting a few bucks in the local economy, right ... ?
???
At least it's on the way back from the gardening gloves store. So it's not like I'm burning gas just for the job.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Prognostication
If I'm honest, I don't think I'm going to get an offer. Not because I don't think I presented well today, or because my skill set isn't right on, or because there was any particular vibe either over the phone or once I went in for the site interviews. I just don't get a "lucky" sense here, for whatever reason. Not that I have that sort of thing generally, with interviews - or don't, that I can think of - but something about this speed I've been so impressed with seems to me almost "directed", if that makes any sense.
When the SVP told me this morning that I was the final candidate - and today it's only been two weeks since the LISTING even went up! - I just suddenly felt like a string was cut. Like my kite was let go. It just seems (a) too good to be true, and (b) far too "easy" to end in a get at this point.
I'm rightly confident in my abilities, my ability to present them in an interview, and my quality as an employee. I'm very interested in this potential employer. Maybe I'm more defeated than I realize.
But I don't think so.
I just don't believe this can possibly go as well as this would have to, for an offer to be a real likelihood here. I am good, but I'm not so d*mned good employers can detect it at this rate of speed, and act on it so fast.
No, it just seems to me that they did the legal requirement, with interviews, and someone else is in the wings for this role.
I will be disappointed, if I hear it's not mine.
But I would be positively stunned to hear that it could be.
*Sigh*
When the SVP told me this morning that I was the final candidate - and today it's only been two weeks since the LISTING even went up! - I just suddenly felt like a string was cut. Like my kite was let go. It just seems (a) too good to be true, and (b) far too "easy" to end in a get at this point.
I'm rightly confident in my abilities, my ability to present them in an interview, and my quality as an employee. I'm very interested in this potential employer. Maybe I'm more defeated than I realize.
But I don't think so.
I just don't believe this can possibly go as well as this would have to, for an offer to be a real likelihood here. I am good, but I'm not so d*mned good employers can detect it at this rate of speed, and act on it so fast.
No, it just seems to me that they did the legal requirement, with interviews, and someone else is in the wings for this role.
I will be disappointed, if I hear it's not mine.
But I would be positively stunned to hear that it could be.
*Sigh*
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Oh My
My brother's old receiver, feeding to my TV set, will play the tape. I heard organ music.
And turned it off in tears.
And turned it off in tears.
Non-Adhesive Tape
Yesterday, I spent some time with my mom. We went through some papers and pictures, some drawers, looked in a closet. She gave me a brooch and a necklace of my granmother's. Costume pieces, nothing heirloom, but really nice things I am happy to have.
She gave me the tape of my dad's memorial.
When I came home, I destroyed my guest room, moving the bed to get into the closet to dig out the Christmas ornaments to get to the pristine boxes which held my old stereo, underneath all these old things. The CD player had gone wonky something like six or so years ago, but I had been unable to afford repairs, and unable to let myself just landfill the thing. Eventually, I'd put it away - in its original boxes, in even its original custom styrofoam. It's been holding up holiday gimcracks ever since.
But I knew the tape decks (two) were not the broken stuff. And so I dug it all out.
Made a mess of the guest room. Made a mess of the living room, too - boxes, haphazardly stashed stereo and speakers.
And the tape decks do not work.
***
I remembered at some point during the night, sometime in my sleep, or the twilight at dawn: I have my mom and dad's old stereo components.
Some of this stuff is HiFi, dating to the 70s. The turntable's classic, even has a wooden case.
The tape deck is here, too.
I haven't had time yet to put away my own mess, much less to dive under my mother's dining room table, acting as a DVD libary now - underneath the leaves of which live the stereo components (in, unfortunately, difficult-to-access glory; the table's leaves are pinned by architecture at the moment; so I'll have to pull everything out from one end - oy). I haven't had time to contemplate whether I even actually have speakers compatible with this stuff; for some reason, I think those went the way of the dodo years ago, or got repurposed to other electronics, by my mother, or my brother ...
But there is yet hope I can hear my dad's memorial.
And there are yet messes I can make hoping - trying - to do so.
She gave me the tape of my dad's memorial.
When I came home, I destroyed my guest room, moving the bed to get into the closet to dig out the Christmas ornaments to get to the pristine boxes which held my old stereo, underneath all these old things. The CD player had gone wonky something like six or so years ago, but I had been unable to afford repairs, and unable to let myself just landfill the thing. Eventually, I'd put it away - in its original boxes, in even its original custom styrofoam. It's been holding up holiday gimcracks ever since.
But I knew the tape decks (two) were not the broken stuff. And so I dug it all out.
Made a mess of the guest room. Made a mess of the living room, too - boxes, haphazardly stashed stereo and speakers.
And the tape decks do not work.
***
I remembered at some point during the night, sometime in my sleep, or the twilight at dawn: I have my mom and dad's old stereo components.
Some of this stuff is HiFi, dating to the 70s. The turntable's classic, even has a wooden case.
The tape deck is here, too.
I haven't had time yet to put away my own mess, much less to dive under my mother's dining room table, acting as a DVD libary now - underneath the leaves of which live the stereo components (in, unfortunately, difficult-to-access glory; the table's leaves are pinned by architecture at the moment; so I'll have to pull everything out from one end - oy). I haven't had time to contemplate whether I even actually have speakers compatible with this stuff; for some reason, I think those went the way of the dodo years ago, or got repurposed to other electronics, by my mother, or my brother ...
But there is yet hope I can hear my dad's memorial.
And there are yet messes I can make hoping - trying - to do so.
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