Thursday, April 28, 2016

Thoughts From a Thursday

Why is it humans bite our tongues while we're eating? NEVER seen this in my dog or my cat, never heard of it. Do other primates? Enquiring minds want to know.

Ahw man, it's Gruesome Injury Story Time at work. Should I bust out (hee) the one about the time I had to go to the ER twice in a day, or the one about when I fell full on my face on the curb at age four, and tried to wash off the bruises because I didn't even know what they were?

How is it I still need to lose 70 pounds, when I can't even finish a salad for lunch or a 1.5 oz package of nuts, and I'm getting in .8 mile walks at work AND walking the dog most mornings and evenings? 48-year-old metabolism, you need to suck it.

... and, even as I think that, according to my daily "why aren't you logging onto Twitter EVERY. DAY?" email revals to me that @Alancumming says, "It's amazing how upcoming nude scenes make you suddenly find the time to do more cardio." I dig Alan Cumming like a double-wide grave, I dig him like a strip-mining operation. I dig him the mostest. Or at least a whole big bunch.

I do'wanna do recall notices today. Can I update a document only one person has asked for in six months instead? Can I, huh? Pleeeeeeezzz?

90s dance tuneage is better motivation than Dokken to do desk calesthenics. But 100% Pure Love would have been better than Gypsy Woman (AKA La Da Dee/La Da Dum), brainworm-wise. Still: Pump up the Jam, yaw.


Me said...

How did you end up in the ER twice in one day?!?

DLM said...

I was maybe five, and I can't recall the order of the accidents, but once was slamming my finger in a door and once was falling on the gravel patio and gashing open my little knee. Aww.

After that, it was probably twenty years before I ever went near a hospital again, so apparently I was banked up for ER visits.

Me said...

Aw man, unlucky day!

Lennon Faris said...

This post made me laugh (not at your injuries, the other stuff). I used to make up concoctions and press them onto mosquito bites with a paper towel. It really did ease the itching, so I thought I was a pretty awesome scientist!

DLM said...

Lennon, keep me posted if you ever come up with the cure for ECZEMA. :)

Me, I figure it held me and the ER at bay from each other for like 20 years, so maybe luckier than it looked?