Workdaday

It started because I was seeking training. One of the duties of my job is to handle processes which result (or not) in people being reimbursed for expenses. Unlike many of the companies I work for, quite a few expenses are expected to come out of pocket first and be paid back later. So I take this responsibility pretty seriously: I'm messing with other people's money.

So I asked, and asked, and finally got the straight answer: there is no training.



Now, the system in which these things are done is fairly simple. I'm not trying to turn a molehill into a mountain. But even the simplest things, I have learned, aren't always *intuitive* - and it's always best to check and to learn.

Measure twice.

Cut once.

I may be paranoid. I may be persnickety. But when I am responsible for other people's money - and I know I will be HELD responsible -I am extremely conscientious and careful. If I am wary of the way billing is handled for my group, I am doubly cautious of the way my coworkers' money runs through my keyboard.



So there is no training.

I accept that this (I pray) means that the simplicity of the system IS simplicity, and that I am not going to go completely wrong here. But I accept this with a certain frustration, that my honest inquiries have met with apparent distaste.

Give me enough of your distaste, and I *will* develop some of my own - for you.


***


So it was a pretty rotten morning.


***


However, I am a remarkable woman. And I know MOST of the people I work with are under the impression I'm pretty great so far - and might even stand to improve and be just about worthwhile.

This sort of thing goes a long way with me.

And so I cleared out my invoicing inbox to the last solitary message.

I rock.

And so I accomplished quite a few fairly detailed technical build requests for one coworker.

I roll.

And so I made insane progress on a weekly housekeeping nightmare which recurs with alarming regularity - and rebuilt a document three times, in the process.

I am good like that.

And so I completed one piece of travel, and when the other one - more immediate - looked like it was unbookable, I spoke with a trusted senior team member, who said (a) don't book it and (b) don't call your boss on his vacation about it either. Good advice, both counts. I took both A and B.

I refuse to sink.


***


Days like this make me madder than the days I hadn't done my homework and would decide to holler at mom for a while. I *hate* days like this - or at least stuff like that morning incident brought on. I hate when work stymies, then adds insult to injury by way of pretty much actual INSULT, and gets me mad.

I resent being made to get mad.

And I find that - particularly at work! - the best thing to do with anger is to prove the buggers wrong. I don't know how to do my job?

WATCH ME DO IT, nimrods. Watch me do it right.



I had something to prove today.



By the end of the day ... I had very little left outstanding.

Amazing what you can accomplish when you're offended.



It's not my idea of a good motivational tool, mind you.

But to RESPOND to frustration with productivity?

Positively a transformative experience.

Very literally.


***


So there, you stupid MORNING. That'll larn ya.