Special Project

Today I got called onto my first priority project for the boss. He asked me to work with one of the managers, who recruited another one from one of the other regions, and she set us to work compiling a massive store of emails and documents into a central, coherent piece.

In truth, it was tedious work best not charged to people whose time, you know, costs significantly more than mine does. But I was glad of the opportunity to demonstrate both alacrity and ability (tedium doesn't mean you don't have to pay attention, kids; that's an important secret of any job, not just secretarial work), and also to work with this manager. She's the first person who gave me a resource, before I had a computer, and she's also the first person who asked me to DO anything for her, also before I had a computer. I was grateful for that, too, because even if it was "just making labels" it was work, and there was no sense in these people having me around if I was only memorizing the supply catalogue. Give me labels, it's not something I feel a need to get snobby about, given the lack of resources!

Thing is, since getting said computer, my continued issues with certain access have led me to disappoint this manager a couple times, and it is frustrating. She doesn't get snippy about it, but it's definitely no more irksome to me to be unable to do my job than it is to her to be unable to depend on someone for things they ought to be empowered to do. Any (lack of) complaint about my onboarding aside, again - it's not as if this woman has overstepped some sort of bounds. She's asked for room reservations (it took me two days to manage) and stuff like that. You'd better believe it felt GOOD to have her ask me to step up on a deadline, and to deliver for her. Even if what I delivered was 241 pages of cutting-and-pasting. I was cutting and pasting on the way to a document my own boss is going to need. The manager wanted us to put together the makings of a rock star presentation.

Give me a the chance to be part of that, and dadgum skippy I will be your tedious cut-and-paster. Of COURSE I will. And demonstrably grateful for the opportunity.



I actually finished the collection of pieces before 3:00 this afternoon, which amazed me, because before the midpoint of the pile I had to go through it was looking like overtime. I expected to bring my laptop home tonight and work off network on this for much of the evening. So finishing at midafternoon felt pretty d*mned good. I was partying, and by the time she asked me for a cover with timelines to illustrate deliverables, that was just FUN - and steps two (culling/deleting/streamlining) and three (cosmetics/formatting) are the easier ones, too. Step one is often the worst of the lot, with special projects, particularly deadlined ones. I know my best way to work, I lit into this pile, and I managed to get THROUGH it. It felt simply amazing.


***


I said to E last night, the truth is, I really don't know how I could have gotten this job. He asked me if I had prayed, given myself to whatever would be the best thing for me. And of course I did do that. But whatever it was in my resume - in my AWKWARD interview on the phone, or the blase' one I gave in person, having come to the conclusion there was no way I was getting this gig, period - that got me in this gig, I sincerely cannot imagine. It is beyond me to understand what I could have ever done to deserve this fortune.

Mind you, I know my strengths, and they're formidable.

But this market ... I seriously do not know what made this happen. The possible "connection" I thought I had swears he wouldn't even have been in a position to say anything even if he had had the time to. The couple-hundred resumes I know must have joined mine in consideration absolutely contained some strong contenders; this town isn't big enough I don't LITERALLY know my own competition - and it's fierce. I was a dink on the telephone, and short of breath in person. I didn't come off idiotically, nor smell bad, but I was NOT stellar in my presentation nor even my person, and I know that very clearly.

So I'm feeling the need to make up for whatever my LUCK has been, and to do it justice.


***


I have been fortunate and blessed to have some unbelievably good jobs. My last position in insurance, I worked for one of the greatest bosses I've ever had - and I've had a number of good ones, lucky stinker that I am. My last position in the mainstream financial services industry - people HATED me, because I had the best boss. He'd walk out of the office at 2:00 on a Friday, look at me bewildered, and say, "what are you still doing here?" And he wasn't any pushover - he expected only the best. But he gave his team all he could, and "collegial" wasn't just some sort of cute corporate conceit coming from his mouth. He was one of the finest people I've ever worked with, and watching others around me, at all levels, coming to realize that too was incredibly gratifying, as he became a known quantity at that firm.

He also gave the most elegant, generous gifts. Just today I wore my Movado glass locket with the #1 in it he gave me as a parting present. As always happens, someone complimented it in the elevator. I have seen well to do women eyeing that and peering at me over it. I love that gift probably more for its giver even than its refinement and style. It is the very emblem of generosity.


***


So. Yeah. I've had some good jobs in my day. I've had high caliber, highly visible positions; my references are likely more powerful than my resume itself ... SVPs, CROs, Directors, Vice Presidents who worked with me in above-and-beyond capacities. I'm extremely fortunate in the people who somehow have found reason to give me their humbling, much esteemed respect. Apparently, I have a gift in my total lack of fear to network - even though I'm "just a secretary". I know my assets - ambition, confidence, and creativity in communication - and I use the devil out of them.

But this job ... It's either been so long since I felt so fully challenged, or I really am on a wholly different level in this place than I've ever been before (not stratospherically executive per se - but the nature of my employer is so absolutely unlike the mainstream profit-and-growth financial sector I spent so many years supporting) that my commitment is engaged in a whole new way.

Yes, that is it.

I forge very real commitments to, and loyalties to, my employers, if I possibly can. I find ways and reasons to invest myself in my living.

But ... this new employer ...

I am part of something literally bigger and more important than I have ever been part of before. I may be "just a secretary" - but I'm one whale of just a secretary when I want to be ... and, fella babies.

I want to be.

I am wowed by my own opportunity here - and I mean "here" - in my very own job. Not the opportunity to grow out of it, not the "possibility for advancement" - I work in a project, in a place, the like of which I've never been part of. And I have the chance to offer a level of support either satisfyingly adequate and charming, or genuinely value-added.

Guess which of those I find myself urging to go for.

I want to wow these people.

I want to give them the BEST, and accustom them completely to seamless support. I want them, actually, to become almost unaware of my work, because it is done unfailingly.

I'm reaching the point where my access is approaching the level I require to be able to do this. I've worked very hard not to whinge about what has gone slowly, and to fill in the gaps as much as I can where I still require others' help.

I've bought chocolate, and greased all the wheels I could with very real gratitude for all the help I have gotten.

I've begun to build the network of relationships I'll need to manage my work.

And even a person who may have some reason herself not to appreciate my presence says I am a fast learner, and doing very well.

Learning, interestingly, has been the very smallest part of my transition so far. (This was not the case at my previous position ...) I find my concentration at peak levels, because I am so fully ENGAGED, and I care so much about this job. This work.



Today, I had my first special project.

I'll sleep knowing I gave it a hell of a good go.

And hoping that this is how it looks to those who needed to put me on it.