Things I Call My Dog

Her name was Sidney when I got her (actually, most likely her stuck-up previous owners insufferably probably spelled it Sydney or something overdone like that), but even before she came here to live I was calling her Siddy. It was Zuba who pointed out the glaringly obvious, as I "decided" which of the dogs I'd seen I would like to adopt: "Diane, you've already NICKNAMED the older one with the funny face. That is the dog you want."

To which I say: "dur", and also - "thanks again, Zuba; don't let her sneeze up your nose anymore, though."

To Siddy I say all of the following and an endless litany of other little endearments ...

• Sid-Oh-Kneeeee!
• Siddy-La
• Lolly
• Lolly-YA
• Lol
• Stinky
• Stinky Tuscadero
• Poops
• BEST Dawg EVER
• Who'da Bestestest?
• Gooderest T'ing
• Saddest Girl
• Who Got Da EAR-bogenzes!?
• Lolly Loops
• Siddy Poops
• Stinky Poops
• Bebbeh GRRRRRRRL
• Who'da Prettiest?
• Purty Girl
• Best Old Thing
• Old Thing (this is a my-dad-original nickname for his kids, and sometimes the family dog ... but probably not his wife. Wait ... Big Bro - he called you Old Thing too - right?)
• Tungsten Head
• Volvo Head ("It's boxy! But it's GOOD!")
• Beast-ufus
• Lolly Loo
• Lolly Schmoo
• My Lil' You
• Lolly My Loo
• Lil' T'ing
• Small Girl (Lolly is actually sixty pounds - insert facetiousness and affection here)
• Lillilla ONE-zes
• Lil'a One
• Leetle-ah Girrr-la
• Si-no-nee
• Siddala
• Liddala
• Girl who is GOOOOD
• Girl who STINKS
• Stinky PooPoo La
• Sweet Small Girl
• Sweet La
• Sweet Lol

Yes, indeed I am an enormous dork-face.

But it must be said, my dog is the best-dog. She takes such care of me. I'll never deserve her!