2009 should have been a wretched year. It started off with the profoundest blow - but I thrived in 2009.
2010 has no reason to be awful. But thus far, I have felt terrible the whole time. I have had good job interviews twice, which both came to nothing for me. I have finished my novel, but remain in limbo there. I have been enduring ongoing, diffuse dread and guilt for reasons which make no sense, and which seem impossible to overcome with logic. Emotionally, I feel besieged by outside forces - the layoff, the attendant attendance to other people's sensitivities, which seem to have been set to "ridiculously acute" (and which I have still taken on with no good reason).
2010 is nearly a third gone, and it is behaving like a nasty little truculent, ugly year so far.
I don't understand.
I really don't like it. Gah.
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