No time of year seems to be good anymore for me to catch a breath, but there are circumstances from time to time which make it extraordinarily frightening. The times I just can't do it at all.
This is one of those times.
I have a deep appreciation, right now, for the full intent and nuance of the phrase "having a hell of a time" ...
I am having a hell of a time being able to get a breath.
At the best of times, it's thoroughy embarrassing, how easily my body becomes winded. I hate speaking with people; there is no hiding it, there is no mastering it.
But at the worst of times, I would beg for embarrassment. Because when I'm winded, I'm breathing at least. When I can't ... I'm terrified.
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