Thursday, March 18, 2010


I was just reading a post at a geek blog belonging to a friend, about the revelation of discovering he's the bee's knees at all games except for a little puzzle number. This has led to a wry review of talents he's always assumed that he had, and a bit of a navel-gazer post, unusual for this guy.

Now, I'm a hardcore navel gazer, even if not all that frequent, and what struck me most was the fact that at the end of it, the big question raised by his frustration with what's supposed to be an "easy" game was, "am I really not as smart as I thought I was?"

It's an interesting thing, getting a view like that into the whys and wherefores of someone's makeup, especially when they're getting a view they themselves haven't anticipated seeing in themselves. A major part of the reason I started this blog myself was that it gave me a safe forum to be able to say things I otherwise might avoid working up to directly. We all want to be understood, and I think a major percentage of the internet is devoted to various levels of self-justification which won't be gainsaid in person. I can talk about my failures and shortcomings in ways that *feel* like I'm not being judged, and calmly enough not to be defensive (much). I can go on about the real estate of my face, even knowing whose eyes will roll at the post, but with enough distance between my words and anyone who might find fault with them that usually the nits won't get picked. Or I can be 100% arbitrary and apropos-of-nothing about The Manitou or gays in the military - or, yeah as self-referentially-linky as I wannabe - and be content (if not satisfied - yeh) knowing: this place isn't for the audience.

But it's always amazing when you have a set of assumptions about someone, assumptions they have sort of almost set out for you, assumptions you know they share, and then you walk into the bathroom one night and find them doing the mirror-stare and being a bit more surprised than you'd imagine.

It's also really fun to find out that a huge gamer nerd is having a crisis of faith in his ability to think strategically, when you just finished writing a whole novel full of intense and really strong battle scenes. Because, dude I can't do games. Of ANY bleeding kind, puzzle or no puzzle.

But I can strategize. Apparently.

Now gimme a crossword puzzle. I am on fire.

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