Sunday, October 9, 2011


For over twenty years, but how many I honestly can't remember, Saturday has been a day of worship for me.  It is my housecleaning day, and until recent years, the only ritual rite I ever observed was the stewardship of my hearth and home - the greatest material blessings in my life.  Even since becoming a churchgoer, this is still important to me; worship and religion do go together for me now, but giving up the habit of solitary worship even now I have accepted religion never seems to have occurred to me.  Thinking about it now, it seems wrong.

With worship distinct from religion, I have omitted my solitary observance when there is reason to; a family gathering, some event more important than being alone with my gratitude.  When I was in mourning after my dad died, I had a hard time just getting up the energy for any kind of divine appreciation.  So I'm not religious about this worship, even about the day I hold for it.  It is, after all, a self-centered act, even if it is one of thanksgiving and even offering.  Bust sitting down after a bath in my clean and pleasant home is always a benediction.  I think of these ten years especially, since "home" became something I actually own.  I think about Mr. X with me here, or my family; the times I've shared with so many, here in these cheering walls.

Yesterday, of course, was one of those days I forwent the ritual of Saturday.  Since this weekend is so long for me; I held today for my deferred expressions, and have done most of what needs to be done.  There's still some vacuuming to be done (I always hate vacuuming, and have dreams of getting myself a Roomba), but the winter rug came upstairs just now - and that alone is a massive job.

Siddy will have a nice place to lie down; the hard wood being hard as described, and of course even with beautiful October weather it's cooler to try to nap on.  It'll be a little quieter; it'll be a little warmer.  It'll be cheering - that word X used, looking at pictures of the place last year.

I change the place around seasonally, and sometimes even oftener than that.  The recent experiment with the couch under the front livin room window was a diversion; but not one I felt the need to stick with very long.  Right now, it's in position to receive the longest autumnal light, long golden rays slanting across the kitchen.  Within a couple months, the room will draw in close and cosy, and Christmas will bring with it tree deployments and all the usual winter changes and amusements.

I love my hearth and home - but am no more religious about its arrangement than I am about its cleaning.  It's filled with antiques from my family, art from my friends, little meaningful things and kind of funny things.  It *is* a cheering place, and comfortable and beautiful to me.  The sum of everything between these walls is the accumulation of my relationships - so much to be grateful for.

Time to go upstairs and retrieve my 400-pound vacuum ... and finish off my worship - before the benediction ...

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